Paris Sky

Paris Sky is so plane streaked. People fly to different places, they dont’t stay still, they have an opportunity to travel and find a place to live, place where they belong. They are not limited to their hometown, or the country they were born anymore and it’s great.

For some reason this cold cloudy sky takes me back to my college years. I remember my first year in University, the warm autumn sun creeping through curtains and sun rays landing on my shoulder. We were studying, learning and dreaming of our future. I remember the late spring before my first trip to the states. It was raining and we were on a break before the next English class. Older students were talking to our professor about their trip to America and we were so jealous. I think of early summer during my high school years. The time when my grandma was still alive, and so was aunt Tamara. It was a bit chilly. We opened our windows and cleaned them, and I looked out and as always dreamed about future. I didn’t appreciate or value that moment of us being together, together with my favorite grandma…how sad…

I remember that winter before my trip and how mom and I would walk in crunchy snow and talk about the future, my plans…

Remember how dad and I would climb the roof and watch the setting sun…

 

 

 

It feels like another chapter of my life is coming to an end. Maybe because back in 2005 I also flew with the Air France. It was my first international flight, my first trip to the states, my very first time. That trip gave me my first and only love, Konrad. A lot has happened since that summer at a summer camp, we would get together and split apart, fall apart and make up again, said goodbyes forever and told each other we can’t live without one another. Fate has brought us back together over and over again.

 

Now I’m flying from LA to Paris. We are landing, lost in the clouds, as if we were hanging in the fog, as if time stopped moving and we got stuck in the moment. Sometimes in life as you get older you try to avoid changes, we get stuck in the cocoon of our everyday events, things we do, we get into that comfort zone and stop changing.

I’ve noticed that these past years in the states have made me stronger, that’s true, but also made me tougher, stiffer, my skin thicker, I became less naive, that waiting-for-miracles-to-happen attitude disappeared, and that’s not right…
I want my pink shades that I looked at the world through back, because I believe in that quote, “Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder”. I want to explore the world like I used to, with my eyes wide open, I want to see only the best in people, I want to expect miracles because they do exist but we focus on everything but that.

A new lunar month started, and maybe now is the time to break that cocoon, shut the door to that old rigid life and change everything? It’s time to stop being afraid and follow my dreams, because we can always get everything we want, we just need to want it and go after it.

It feels like a slow motion, someone signals us with those bright sticks, the plane stops. No one applauses, and to be honest I miss that silly Russian thing we do that takes us back to our inner kids, it gives an extra boost of energy, smiles, joy, happiness. Yeah, nobody claps their hands, no one seems to be happy to be back home, to their Paris. We are all different, that’s true.

Well, I’m glad to land safely here in Paris, have another flight in 10 hours and Hi Africa! I can’t believe I’m flying to Africa!!! Never thought I’d go there. Actually I’m lying now. I have thought about it since I saw Konrad off that fall of 2005. I thought that I’d be wearing a beautiful dress, high heels, will be going down the stairs. In my dreams he was waiting for me right at the entrance. Yeah, I am silly. Who wears a dress and heels when they travel for many hours? And yes, even though I know that normal people don’t do it, I have that pretty dress and heels in my carry on bag:) We shall see how crazy I am in about 20 hours.

Paris sky is gloomy with low clouds…It’s a pity I can’t go see the Eiffel Tower, have so much time to spend…I should’ve applied for a visa earlier…And yes, it proves ones more that I’m silly.