The trip quickly came to an end and we returned to the camp. It’s only been a couple of days but it felt like my life changed so much! I fell in love, I didn’t know if the man of my dreams felt the same about me, I made new friends and I experienced jealousy. Definitely not a feeling I liked.
A few days passed by, I was busy with my kitchen work, nothing seemed to change with Konrad. We kept looking at each other but that was about it.
One day on my lunch break I saw my new friend running towards our bunk. She seemed super happy and I smiled looking at her. Don’t think I’ve seen her like that before. “What happened?” I asked. She said Konrad kissed her under the Rock-climbing wall. I couldn’t believe my ears. I asked her if it was that South African Konrad and she said yes. She had that dreamy look about her and my heart just broke in pieces, and each piece was crashed into a million other pieces. It never hurt like that before. I couldn’t breath, I felt as if something punched me in the stomach. I couldn’t let her see that though, so I put myself together. I said I was happy for her even though I was about to cry.
I went for a walk around the lake and let myself loose. I cried so hard I couldn’t stop. It was my first heart-break. I’ve never felt anything like this before. That’s actually quite a strong feeling, pretty much as strong as love I experienced just a few days ago. I was mad at myself for not acting quicker, at her as she knew how I felt about him, and at him for sending me wrong signals. After I cried all the tears out I did the best I could to compose myself. To be honest, there is no one to blame. It’s life, and if him and me weren’t meant to be, there was nothing I could do. I’ll meet someone else one day, and I hope him and her will be happy together. And now I must stay strong, put a smile on my face and make this summer a great summer, regardless of this pain. I know it will go away eventually. Time is the best healer. I will get over it. Out of this whole situation I at least experienced Love, Loss, Pain, Jealousy. They say it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all and I completely agree with that. Since it didn’t kill me, I must have grown stronger (I hope I did) and that’s at least one positive out of all that.
I returned to my bunk, washed my face and got ready for work. She was flying on the wings of love and I could barely keep myself from crying. The lunch was ready, the counselors came and we were serving again. I didn’t want to look at him, at her, just wanted to finish my work and go take a nap.
I quickly finished my job (we would rotate and have different assignments daily. Someone washes pots, which is the hardest because there is a lot of scrubbing involved, and the pots room gets really hot and steamy because of all the hot water; others would wash cutlery, sweep, cut the veggies for salad bar, etc). It was my pots day and I was really happy about it because I could turn the music really loud (we had a boombox up on the shelf in the pots room and could use it whenever we wanted) and not talk to anyone just turn off my mind and do my job. After I was done I went to my bunk, took a nice cold shower and decided to take a nap. It was a nice sunny day and I could’ve gone to the pool, or played tennis, or play pool, or other games but I just wanted to be alone, close my eyes and forget everything. I slept until dinner.
The dinner work came and went quickly. I still felt bad and wanted to finish this day as soon as possible. We cleaned after everyone and I went back to the bunk. I had to wait for the shower as girls made it there quicker than I.
Is it my destiny that I always have to wait? Is it because I’m super slow? Slow at everything, getting to the shower, getting a man of my dreams?! I got pretty cross and then just laughed at myself. Come on, Lolly, you are turning into a little grumpy hag.
I went to our porch to enjoy the sunset. The camp was surrounded by the gorgeous Catskills Mountains. It had a very nice energy about it, something very positive, light, joyful. The sunset was so captivating! The beautiful bright colors were kissing the tips on the mountains, the air was clear and fresh, and that smell of grass, sweet and freeing, that will always bring me back here even after years pass. All of this together with that chilly refreshing breeze made me feel much better. God how I wished I could find love but there is a reason for everything, so…
– Lolly!!! – my other friend yelled while approaching our bunk.
– Olya? What happened?” – I replied.
She looked at me kind of… I don’t know… as if she was conspiring something, and had a smirk on her face.
– There is a guy that wants to talk to you. He is waiting for you at the back door of the kitchen.
– Who is that? – I wasn’t really in a mood for a chat now.
– It’s Konrad.
– Olya, come on, stop teasing me.
– I promise you, it’s him, go see for yourself.
I thought she was joking and that it would be quite a mean joke. I did go regardless.
When I got to the kitchen door I saw a guy, he was standing with his back to me and it was getting darker so I couldn’t really tell who that was. He turned slowly when he heard my footsteps over the grass.
To Be Continued…